ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
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