Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
