No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
