Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
