You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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