man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
