Will you blow on my dice?
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I love having hate sex.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
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