never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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