My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
