I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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