My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize