you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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