Only a mothe r could love this liver
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
