I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
