We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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