Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
