He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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