I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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