the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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