try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
