I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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