we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
