Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
