nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
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