coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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