Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
