my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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