my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
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Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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