I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
