i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
