How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
