I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
