i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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