i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
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