Nicole vs. Life
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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