no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
