I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
My friends, they love my intelligence
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
