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I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
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