Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
i would punch a child for taco bell
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now