My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???