It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
23 Insane Reasons People Got Fired
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats