so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
25 Porn Addicts Admit Their Biggest Pet Peeves
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right