she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
