Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
