hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I have feelings that need drinking.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
