i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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