Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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