were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
