we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Randomize
