is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize