The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
