Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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