He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
