So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Sorry my hands just texted you
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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