Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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