there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
And my parents said I crawled through the house
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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