Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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