Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
