butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
