my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
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You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
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I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
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