This girl is more easily done than said...
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
True college students do jello shots in the library
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