I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
