Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
