The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Randomize
