Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
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You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
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